When David was alive, he used to have to attend dinners with his business partners and clients and there were times when I would be invited along. Most of these occasions were quite forgettable, for though the spread almost always tended to be excellent, there was usually a lot of 'shop talk' and desultory conversation with dinner companions I didn’t have very much in common with. 

There is one notable exception, and that would be the time we went to a Japanese restaurant with some of David’s colleagues to meet a group from one of their very important clients. There were about three people from David’s firm in addition to David and myself, and about five representatives from the client’s company.

We had ourselves a private room with floor-seating around the traditional low Japanese tables, but aside from this seating arrangement, there didn’t seem like there was going to be anything to distinguish this evening from any of the usual business dinner outings. But I soon realized I was wrong – one of the business associates, instead of being the regular mild-mannered polite kind, turned out to be one of the most obnoxious, opinionated men I have ever met.

Throughout the meal he came out with all kinds of racist and sexist comments and tried to collar the conversation on any subject. The fact that he was downing as much sake as he could loosened his tongue and we were treated to a string of fatuous remarks that he pronounced with the air of an expert. It wasn’t long into the meal before I was practically seething with contempt for that man and dearly longing to whack his wrist with my chopstick. I could see that the others at the table were quite embarrassed, but it appeared that he was a ‘big gun’ at the firm and the others were in a subordinate position so most of his conversation had to be tolerated, though his colleagues would do their best to change the topic or cover up for him whenever it got too unbearable. Really, it’s not often that I get angry, but the man was really exceptionally infuriating and I still wonder how he made it to the position he did. I was feeling truly thankful that the meal was nearing an end.

Our waiter came in with our desert – a tray of seaweed jelly with peach. The door through which he came was one of those springy sliding ones and as he pushed it open and tried to enter with his tray, the door suddenly slid back, almost trapping him in the middle and he involuntarily jerked and released his tray. It fell over and landed with a thump in the middle of our table, scattering its contents all over the room. As we looked at the rain of small desert cups and their contents, there was a furious bellowing – and lo and behold, there was Mr. Obnoxious with a round slab of clear jelly embedded with a beautiful piece of peach right on the middle of his head! I started laughing out loud and laughed and laughed almost hysterically until tears came to my eyes, and my finding this funny infuriated Mr. Obnoxious even more. I caught David’s eye and there was such a twinkle in it, though he was trying his best to look stern.

The waiter, a young boy, was very much put out and apologized continuously and we managed to save him from more of Mr. Obnoxious’ yelling. The management groveled around a bit and gave him some free vouchers as a gesture of apology. But I have to confess, as we were leaving the restaurant, I saw David surreptitiously slip a well-deserved extra tip into the waiter’s hands!